I feel aww... and eww... at the same time

Posted Apr 19, 2005
Last Updated Jun 21, 2012
I love Arrested Development. If you don't already watch it, buy the Season 1 DVDs and watch Season 2 reruns this summer on FOX. It's the best comedy on TV, and possibly the best TV comedy I've ever seen. It makes you laugh, but it also makes you think.

On the season finale, two of the main characters kissed. Now in most sitcoms, this is great, but in Arrested Development this was both great and a bit icky at the same time. It wasn't icky because you didn't want to see these two kiss; it was icky because you really wanted them too. The problem is: George Michael and Maeby are first cousins.

That this kiss was both anticipated and feared made me question why I would have these conflicting feelings, and became a journey of thought that delves into society, religion, anthropology, and storytelling. Let's start with storytelling.

And that's how you narrate a story


When I first watched this episode I was pretty much sure that romance between first cousins was wrong. Wrong and disgusting. So why did I want to see George Michael and Maybe "get close?" It's because I was set up to feel that way. I was a puppet, and the writers were pulling the strings, using the same kind of emotional theatrics that turn killers into victims on the jury box. In the pilot, George Michael develops a hopeless crush on his cousin, Maeby, after she kisses him in an attempt to teach their parents a lesson. Read that last sentence again. Now read the next one. In the pilot, George Michael develops incestuous feelings for his cousin, Maeby, after she kisses him in an attempt to teach their parents a lesson. Yeah, you see what I did there. Same thing those writers did to me. The word "hopeless" is very powerful, because damn it all, Rudy's gonna play football! Through the first season, George Michael nursed this crush, and every minute of it was narrated, scripted, and blocked to be the cutest underdog story you ever saw. Then in the second season, he gets a girlfriend who is just wrong for him. Don't get me wrong, she's a nice girl, but she is scripted, blocked, and narrated into being a complete freak. Oh, and Maeby gets unexplainably jealous. Sure you try to say, "She's just jealous because she doesn't have anyone to hang out with anymore," but somewhere in the back of your mind the thought is taking form, "What if?"

And all this fabulous story telling makes you want something that you are positive is wrong. (But we've all been tricked before: Indiana Jones is a grave robber, Han Solo is a smuggler, Danny Ocean is a thief, and Capt. Henrich Lehmann-Willenbrock commands a Nazi submarine.)

Prepare to be swallowed into the depths of hell


After concluding I'd been bamboozled by the best Television Writing since My So Called Life, I began to wonder, "Why was it supposed to feel wrong in the first place?" A quick trip to my childhood dredged up the answer. Because Mommy, Daddy, TV, Movies, and Dirty Jokes say it is. Ah yes, one of the millions of things I believe because I was raised in a society that believes it. A little investigation reveals that it is illegal to marry your first cousin in many but not all States in the USA, but it's not illegal in most other countries. But illegal is not the same as taboo, and I did find some evidence to suggest that this is socially taboo in many more countries than it's illegal. But why the taboo, and why do some blatant disregards of the taboo not offend us, while others do?

Nobility thrives on incest. If you are noble, you are encouraged to marry inside the family. Your cousin is a great suitor, even a first cousin. Sure, today nobility is really unimportant, and maybe first cousins seem too close, but a quick look at the last few hundred years doesn't make anyone squeamish. In the US, fame is nobility, and no one gets upset with Albert Einstein or Charles Darwin (well not for marrying their first cousins anyway). Jerry Lee Lewis was a bit creepy, but that's because she was 13.

One of my favorite parts of the episode is when Ann (George Michael's girlfriend) organizes her church group to protest the movie because "it's a disgusting movie about cousins who are into each other." This is hilarious mostly because of the way she delivers "into each other," but partly because of the irony. I love it when church groups protest things that are socially taboo, and assume that they are religiously taboo too. Flip your Bible open to Genesis 29:16-30, and read a tale of a man name Jacob who married, not one, but two first cousins. This man is later renamed by God to "Israel". You know that whole "children of Israel" stuff? Yeah, a good portion of those tribes came from first-cousin marriage. I'd love to see Ann tell Israel to "prepare to be swallowed into the depths of hell." Cracks me up.

And maybe that's very, very right


When looking at human behavior, it can be useful to strip away society, morality, and even intelligence, and look at the behavior of humans as instinctual mammals. Instinct has two goals: survival and reproduction. Most mammals follow a "if it moves, mate" reproductive strategy. Cats and dogs have no problem mating with brothers, sisters, cousins, mothers, etc. Humans are a little more complex however. We have strange recessive genetic diseases that we are more likely to pass down when such inter-family relationships occur. To protect against this, we have a built in repulsion to other people that we spend the first few years of our lives with. This keeps us from being like cats and being attracted to our own parents, siblings, and children.

However, anthropologists will tell you that the family is a construct that provides survival benefits. We have a drive to propagate our genes, and help those who have genes similar to ours propagate their genes. For instance, if you are unable to reproduce, it would be to you benefit to help find your brother a mate, because his child will have some genes in common with you. What better way to propagate a family's genes then mate within the family? We have an instinctual drive to mate with those who are genetically similar, to preserve our own genetics.

Sometimes instinct has to take the middle road. We want to mate with and are more attracted to people with similar physical and personality traits. Yet we are repulsed by our own siblings. The next step outward from siblings (in the same generation) are first cousins. They are genetically similar, yet we aren't instinctually repulsed (if we did not grow up around them). Any repulsion is from the intellectual and societal layers that are piled upon our instincts. (Of course this point is moot if Maeby is, as is several times hinted, not actually George Michael's biological cousin.)

That cousin of yours is a hell of a girl. It's too bad you can't date her.


I've concluded that if you are fan of Arrested Development, it's OK to smile and even cheer for George Michael and Maeby. It's not even illegal in California. But, it's also OK to feel a little weird about it, and tell yourself, "It's fine for them, but I wouldn't do it." And it's even OK to look forward to the romance, the inevitable heartbreak, and the hilarity that will ensue. And try to take a step back and look at it through Michael's eyes - would you rather your son date Ann or Maeby? Yeah, I know, it's hard to answer. And that's why it's the best comedy on TV.

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Carla

Oct 18, 2012

Yeah! But if you'd been paying attention, you'd know that they AREN'T related! Lindsay, Maeby's mother was adopted by the Bluths.